He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
