I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
