Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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