You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
