she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
