would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Randomize
