We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize