If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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