My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
