it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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