No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
