it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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