It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
