Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
