You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
