By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
