My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I need moral support for this bender
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize