He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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