I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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