the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize