so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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