YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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