I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
