If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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