ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
She's like a pop up book from hell.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
