Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
