This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
