I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Can you repeat that, but with context?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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