yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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