I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
