The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
