I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize