Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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