I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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