the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
