Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
