It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I am mentally ready for anal.
His nipple licking is glorious
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