I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
