I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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