erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
