brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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