Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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