Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Success! We fucked roommates!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
