He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
