none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
