with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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