o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
