I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize