I hate your face
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize