Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
