It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
