i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
