Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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