She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i dont even know how to be here
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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