I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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