Screwed.edu
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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