hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
