Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
