last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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