So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
